Andrew W. Campbell

gryphonquill @ 2009-12-21T16:30:00

2009-12-21T21:30:10Z

Weekly Word Count

Day	Novel	Other
Mon, Dec 14	0	0
Tues, Dec 15	0	522
Wed, Dec 16	0	0
Thurs, Dec 17	0	892
Fri, Dec 18	0	0
Sat, Dec 19	0	1716
Sun, Dec 20	340	2143
TOTAL	340	5273

Novel Progress
Total Words: 59635 (+464)
Total Pages: 221 (+1)
Current Word: 32200 (+340)
Current Page:117 (+1)

It wasn't a great week for my concentration. Santa central got a bit lively over here. A few times I sat down to do some writing but got distracted. So most of my writing was for letters and other things that I could shoot off without my full attention, writing that I didn't really work at. Still, I feel like those are good to keep the pump primed.

Thai Coconut Chicken Soup (Tom Ka)

2009-12-18T23:12:35Z

Something spicy and rich to warm up these cold nights. Tom ka flavoring will probably require a trip to the Asian supermarket.

Ingredients

chicken (boneless, skinless, cut into bite-sized pieces)
2 cans coconut milk
tom ka flavor packet
1 lg onion
beansprouts
fresh cilantro
lime juice
salt

Instructions

Chop chicken. Cover with salt and lime juice. Set aside. Thinly slice onion and grill in large pot on medium heat until slightly caramelized.

Add chicken. Cook and stir until all pink is cooked out. Add one can of coconut milk and bring to light boil. Add tom ka packet and stir until dissolved. Add bean sprouts second can of coconut milk. Chop cilantro. Add half to soup. Set half aside for topping.

Add one half to one can of water to soup until desired thickness and flavor intensity. Reduce heat. Serve over rice. Top soup with sprinkled cilantro.

gryphonquill @ 2009-12-14T23:52:00

2009-12-15T04:52:51Z

Weekly Word Count

Day	Novel	Other
Sun, Dec 6	0	0
Mon, Dec 7	1570	1335
Tues, Dec 8	0	270
Wed, Dec 9	0	597
Thurs, Dec 10	0	287
Fri, Dec 11	819	0
Sat, Dec 12	0	478
TOTAL	2389	2967

Novel Progress
Total Words: 59171 (+501)
Total Pages: 220 (+8)
Current Word: 31860 (+819?)
Current Page:117 (+8)

Although I think I must have done the math wrong last week on Current Word, the general picture given is correct. Last week got mostly eaten by a job interview, Santa gigs, and the planning for those gigs. So far this week looks to be much more peaceful.

I've begun the chapter for the New Year's Eve party, which I feel a bit excited and nervous about. It's a big chapter. Lots goes on at any given party, and all three of the boys have their own issues going on, so I'm following three threads that interweave and overlap in a single chapter, while trying to give the feel of a big party with those odd little details that I have loved about the parties I've been a part of. Actually just writing that makes me more excited about getting to it.

This will make use of a lot of disjointed pieces that I scribbled during NaNoWriMo, and quilting those together will be some work. After this chapter though, I've got pretty smooth sailing with the next two, which are mostly written but just need editing. Also, they feature major developments for the boys that are just fun for me.

Santa 2009

2009-12-13T03:41:54Z

Thanks to my sis for taking these.

gryphonquill @ 2009-12-07T19:40:00

2009-12-08T00:40:04Z

Weekly Word Count

Day	Novel	Other
Sun, Nov 29	2367	824
Mon, Nov 30	2092	0
Tues, Dec 1	2182	1727
Wed, Dec 2	1633	2708
Thurs, Dec 3	1687	464
Fri, Dec 4	0	429
Sat, Dec 5	0	2627
TOTAL	9961	8779

Novel Progress
Total Words: 58670
Total Pages: 213 (+18)
Current Word: 31041
Current Page:109 (+37)

The end of NaNoWriMo has not dampened my writing verve. Actually, I think it just helped energize me to do the work that I've been needing to do. I went back to where I left off editing before, in what was then Chapter 4 but has since become Chapter 5 (I split a long Chapter 2), and started editing, writing, and re-writing with renewed furvor.

As of last Sunday, was on page 72 and there were a total of 195 pages in the novel (the older stuff plus NaNoWriMo). Since then I finished Chapter 5 and 6 (the last 5 pages of Chapter 6 aren't included in the count), fleshing out and tweaking a lot of the story. Most of Chapter 6 was all brand new writing, though inspired by some bits I previously edited out. In the process, I progressed ahead 37 pages -- which is 37 more pages ready to send to an agent -- and added a 18 pages to my total.

NaNoWriMo helped me push myself, and in the process I isolated a few things that help my productivity. For one, not every day is a writing day. I have to be able to rest my narrative voice or it starts to weaken. Also, I do not need to shut down all other writing in order to focus on the novel alone. This week I wrote nearly as much for gaming posts and blogging, but I did not allow these to be distractions from the novel. I parsed them out between the novel writing and used them as breaks. For the novel, I concentrate very carefully on word choices, dialog, and narrative flow. The non-novel writing is relaxed, almost free-writing. It's the equivalent of taking one more cool down lap around the track after a vigorous run.

My writing environment is also important, but it doesn't have to be as isolated as I had been thinking. I found I could get some good writing done at a loud and smokey bar, so my bedroom can serve just as well, even with some background noise from my family. What is important is lighting control -- that it be warm and indirect -- and although I hate to say it, that my desk and floor be somewhat tidy. Having to step around scattered laundry with scattered papers and odds-and-ends over my writing space seem to make it harder for me to focus.

Also, I have to make writing the first priority of the day. A lot of my time here, I have started my day by having breakfast and my morning coffee over The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. While there's nothing wrong with that in itself, I think I have a tendency to get too comfortable on the couch, which lends itself to channel surfing and unfocused thinking. I remember when I was finishing my masters thesis, I sat down in front of the computer first thing each morning. Even if I answered a few emails while having coffee, I think that got me off to the right start. Last week there was some days where I knocked out a page or two before fixing breakfast even.

Finally, I had to improve the comfortability of my seating. A writer just spends a lot of time on his ass, and like any office monkey knows, that can take its toll in the wrong chair. The one I've had here isn't really a desk chair. It looks like something Mom picked up from school. But I've added a cushion to the seat and thrown twice-folded-over towel over the back for a bit more support their. It's amazing what a change that makes.

So I'm optimistic about the work ahead, especially since the pace I went at last week felt very comfortable and I'm proud of the work I produced. If I continue in this way, then by the end of the month, I will have almost 300 total pages in the novel and be edited up to around 250. That leaves me in good shape to finish it off before the end of January and start seeking out "representation."

edited out of the novel

2009-12-03T02:33:11Z

This passage doesn't fit anymore at the place I had it before, so I'm afraid I have to cut it. I do like it a lot though, so I thought I'd share it here:

The most honest conversations between men are rarely held face-to-face. They happen while looking into a fire, at the road ahead, into their respective beers, or while one looks at the bunk above him and the other looks up at the ceiling. At the very least, they will happen when one guy looks down at his shoes. Maybe it comes from something in our hunter-gatherer past. Men look at things they want or people they want something from. Two cavemen kneeling in the bush keep their eyes on the mammoth in front of them and whisper their plans to catch it without turning their heads.

NaNoWriMo 2009 Wrap-Up

2009-12-01T20:45:17Z

Holy crap, how do people do this NaNoWriMo thing? 50,000 words is a bear, at that speed anyway. It's an intense pace to keep up. Eventually, I just ran out of steam, struggling for content that I could push out quickly, and I think that was to my detriment. I ended up focusing on speed over quality, brushing over plot points that I really should have thought through more carefully.

Also, whose idea was it to write a novel in a month that features Thanksgiving? You lose a week right there, or at least I did, with the preparations and the thing itself and the recovery from the thing itself. Why not have it in February, some quiet dark month with little distraction, or January, kicking things off with a New Year's resolution to finally finish that novel you've always meant to.

One of my professors at Royal Holloway, Susannah Jones, didn't think much of NaNoWriMo. She said it just couldn't be done. Yes, you can write something substantial in that time, but what you got really wouldn't be a novel. I don't think it was that the wordcount would be too small, but that she sees the art of crafting a novel as more than just spewing out words to reach a certain length. She made a point of saying that the real trick of writing was in the editing, taking the care to shape the story and the language that produces it.

After about 3 weeks of work, I came out of November with just over 14,000 words (around 50 pages), and although some of that is stuff I know I'm going to have to toss or completely re-write, it was good for me to look ahead to where the novel is going and get a sense of the completed whole, rather than sit comfortably back with the pages that I've edited and polished so far.

The real benefit of NaNoWriMo was giving me a reason to really focus on writing and make it a priority, and I've been riding that momentum for the past few days. Since Thanksgiving, I have treated the novel like I did my masters thesis, getting to it first thing after waking. Today I even knocked out a page before preparing my morning beverage. The writing has been easier too. Maybe going out on the limb of writing scenes so far ahead has helped me see where to take the scenes I wrote so long ago, as well as appreciate the grounding that exposition provides.

What I need to do is continue to edit last year's material and work in the NaNoWriMo pages. Putting the two together put my total page count at 195. I had left off editing at page 72, and since Sunday I have edited my way up to page 93 (4 pages so far this morning), increasing the total page count up to 199 (53,625 words). I believe that if I continue in this manner, writing at least 5 days a week, I stand a good chance of having a completed first draft by Dec 27, the one-year anniversary of my return to North Carolina. That would be a very good feeling.

NaNoWriMo: the Halfway Point

2009-11-16T00:48:51Z

Words so far: 9331 (37 pages)
Words to go: 40669 (163 pages)

Days of writing: 9
Days without writing : 5
Avg words/day: 1037 (productive days) / 667 (total days)

Most productive day: 2054 (8 pages)

Don't see how I can meet the 50,000 word goal, but the productivity has been great.

Episode 154: Evil Moose Sounds

2009-11-11T23:29:50Z

The Nightsound Show is a veritable cornucopia of local and independent music, literature, philosophy, spirituality, culture, comedy, and politics. It is a magazine for your ears, fueled by your submissions. And in this open forum we will delve into the unknown and the mundane with as much geeky and entertaining over-analysis as unpretentiously as possible.

Episode 154: Evil Moose Sounds
To download, click HERE.

In this episode:

What's Chris's Halloween costume?
Real ghost stories from people on the street.
Quoth the Parrot, "Shut Up Bitch"
Is Halloween about racism?
Community Badass: Cindy Higgins, psychic and medium
Flashback: Hugh's ghost story from Ghostsound 2008
Roy tells about being a part of a church that communicates with spirits
"The Birds" a poem by Preston Bounds
The Nightsound Studios Electronic Voice Phenomenon (EVP)

Featuring music from:

"Mumbo Jumbo" by Davis Coen
"My Brain Created a Thing" by Stranger Spirits
"Lady in the Mountain" by Sarah Goss
"Just Like Bruce Campbell Did" by Joe Hero
"March of Nothing" by The Stolypins
"15 Bones" by Berkeley Grimball
"Spirit" by Greg Taylor
"On My Way" by Emil McGloin
"Reptiliana" by Jessica Hiltabidle
"Witching Hour" by Red Collar
"Lights On" by Rachel Kiel
"Gothcake" by Sam Ortallono
"Sunshine" by The Pneurotics
"Ghost of Norma Jean" by the Steep Canyon Rangers
"Ballade Theme" by Chris Wimberley

Submit your music, literature, and opinions to radio@nightsound.com.

Show More Subscription Options

MyNoFiMo

2009-10-23T18:58:13Z

November is National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). At the encouragement of Kitt and Brenna, who plan on taking part themselves, I figure I can use it as My Novel Finishing Month. The requirement to participate is 50,000 words written without editing from midnight on Nov 1 to 11:59pm on Nov 30.

Looking at the numbers, 50,000 words of new content should fill out all of the missing chapters up to the end and leave me with (gasp and shock) a complete first draft. Meeting that deadline will be a grind. I'll need to produce about 7-10 pages a day, which I've accomplished, although not consistently. However, with no job to distract me and the support of fellow NaNoWriMo participants, it just might get done.

Over the next week, I will try to do a quick and dirty edit on the remaining 50 pages from London. On Tuesday I leave for another house-sitting expedition, back to the chickens and hedgehogs, so I should have some peace and quiet there for serious productivity. With any luck, and not too much Halloween partying, that should get me off to a good start for November.

This is, I must confess, the third "Big Push" on the novel that I've made since coming back, and like repeated attempts to quit smoking, each attempt inspires less confidence. I think some of the conditions for this push will help spur me on though, and it should be noted that I successfully quit smoking in Jan 2007. Yes, I've smoked since then, but not the pack-a-day or even pack-a-week addiction that it was in college and after.

Two looming incentives promise increased motivate. Pride is the first. In just a couple months' time, I will have been back in NC for a full year. With no apartment, car, job, or girlfriend to show for my time, the one accomplishment that I have complete control over is whether or not I finish this novel.

Also, Dad is planning a school related trip to the UK in March to do some research about an agriculture-related field trip for his department. There is a chance that I could tag along, and that might be an opportunity to meet in person with some of the agents who expressed interest in the novel excerpts from last year's reading. If I have a completed rough draft at the end of November, I could spent December on edits and start sending out sample chapters to agents after the holidays. If they like what they see, an in-person meeting might be in order by March.

Now, they may not remember me, may not be interested in what I show them, or may not feel like taking on an overseas client. Still, with a completed manuscript, I can start approaching other agents who I don't have that "foot-in-the-door" with just yet, and even if nothing comes of that, just knowing that I finished the work I started will feel very good.

... And then it will be time to begin the next one.

gryphonquill @ 2009-10-02T01:25:00

2009-10-02T05:25:45Z

Hmmmm, the sun isn't up yet, but I think I'm done sleeping. Well, hey, waking up before dawn sounds cool to me.

Let's see, I went to sleep about 9pm and feel fully rested. If I had 8 hours of sleep then it must be about 5am, right? Not bad. Get a good start on the day.

What time is it exactly? Check the clock... 12:45am ???

Oh, well. Might as well get up anyway.

gryphonquill @ 2009-09-23T12:32:00

2009-09-23T16:33:41Z

I had this song in my head after I woke up. Not sure why, but guessing it probably has to do with how I couldn't find my glasses and wanted them to "be near me, be near..." They weren't. I found them in the bathroom.

ABC - Be Near Me

Episode 152: Cynics on a Plane

2009-08-27T00:45:51Z

Episode 152: Cynics on a Plane
To download, click HERE.

In this episode:

Andy interrupts Jenn's Interview with a Supernatural Creature.
Would you stop to hear a subway violinist?
Chris takes us to The Cougar Room.
Josh wins this month's Lyrics Junkie Charity Challenge!
An amazing hand-written letter from Nigel Tangelo.
"Noiseless Patient Eight-Legged Menace" explains how spiders are awful.
How do you want Obama to kill you and your grandmother?
Why can't the FCC regulate fact from fiction on "news" programs?

Featuring music from:

"Until My Voice is Gone" by The Old Ceremony
"Perjory" by Hi Ho Silver Oh
"Nightstand" by Skylar Gudas
"Like the First Time" by Emil McGloin
"Put Down the Monkey" by Puritan Rodeo
"Fuse" by Sarah Goss
"All Dressed Up" by Joe Romeo and The Orange Co. Volunteers
"Cassandra" by Jesse Wooten
Featuring "Power and Energy" by Dan Datiles.

Submit your music, literature, and opinions to radio@nightsound.com.

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gryphonquill @ 2009-08-22T10:16:00

2009-08-22T17:58:56Z

One of the nice things about being a bachelor -- having no partner to attend to, no children or pets to care for -- is the freedom to pick up and go wherever, whenever, for however long. When I worked at the MicKimmon Center, I looked forward to out-of-town projects. They included a paid-for hotel stay and reimbursed food and gas. I was happy to volunteer for whatever came, each was like a mini-vacation for me.

My joblessness has freed up my weeks as well as my weekends, adding even greater flexibility. So when Nikki asked if I would like to house-sit for her and her household in Greensboro, it sounded like a lot of fun. My parents have been great about giving me my privacy, but there is still something about having a whole space to yourself -- even if you share that space with 1 dog, 4 cats, 2 fish, 2 hedgehogs, and 4 chickens. That was one of the selling points Nikki offered. "Trust me, These are the freshest eggs you've ever had." I didn't really need to be sold on the idea though. I wanted it from the first word, just had to make sure logistics were straight.

So, I find myself back in the town where I went to college, though it seems like things have changed some. After cleaning up some of the massage parlors, city planners went to work revitalizing the downtown area. When I was here, the city center died after dark. Campus cleared out on weekends as those that could either went home or at least down to Chapel Hill to enjoy the nightlife on Franklin St. Those who remained had to find ways to make their own fun. I think many of my classmates got really, really high just because if you have nothing to do but stare at the wall anyway, may as well make that wall as interesting as possible. Even with the creative solutions that my own friends found to fill time, it was hard not to feel the downward pull. One even theorized that somewhere in town there had opened a psychic vortex slowly sucking all our souls to oblivion (creativity + ennui = angst).

But such seems to no longer be the case. The vortex has been exorcised or maybe some civic-minded shaman plugged it up to make a flower planter. Either way, it sounds like the town is now overflowing with activity and that the happy denizens actually get out and enjoy it. I've been told about an Irish pub that sounds promising, newly arranged parks here and downtown, and a baseball stadium within walking distance that features $2 microbrews for "Thirsty Thursday" at this week's game. On top of all that, I'm looking forward to doing a bit of walking. I've lamented the lack of decent sidewalks around my parents' house before. Here there is plenty of ground for me to cover and a dog who I have been told will be grateful to join me.

I couldn't ask for nicer accommodations during my stay. Nikki lives in a beautiful, historic home. It even has a plaque out front that reads "House of Mendenhall Established November 28, 1890." It stands on the corner of Mendenhall Street, so I guess it's got some roots in the history of Greensboro. Inside the elegant angles of its Old South structure, this house has been furnished with a lot of love and creativity. Beautiful blown glass baubles catch sunlight in the window. Shiny guitars hang on the wall of the office. Sturdy, soft furniture sits under framed images that depict such sights as a child would dream of. Already this home makes me wax rhapsodic, and there is so much more to say, so many trinkets and artifacts to tease and delight imagination.

I think I'm going to do some good writing here.

gryphonquill @ 2009-08-14T10:35:00

2009-08-14T15:30:58Z

Last night, something strange happened. I was bored. I'm not usually bored. Usually I'm rushing from one project to another, never feeling like I have enough time for any of them, and stealing time to just be mindless in between. If I am free to be bored, that means I'm enjoying turning my mind off.

I'm realizing though that the fact that I was bored is actually a bad thing from good causes. This week I've gotten more done than usual -- more exercise, more writing, more letters written. I also think I've eaten more, though that's not a good thing. The point is that I felt like I had more free time than I'm used to. I know that's funny having been 6 months unemployed, but even that was something I've done more work on than normal. I've sent out dozens of resumes and Tuesday I got to interview with a temp agency. So I was left feeling there wasn't a lot that needed doing.

The other part is that I guess my mind didn't feel like turning off. Instead of wanting to collapse in a puddle of blah, it still had some juice left in it. I realize that means I should have used the time to do something else productive, but out of habit I kept trying to "relax," and my mind just wasn't having it. Like a child you are trying to force to nap, it wanted to work while I wanted it to chill out.

And maybe it sounds odd to talk about my mind as some "thing," like a pet with a mind of it's own (a mind with a mind of it's own), but that's often what it feels like -- running away with this idea or that, refusing to work when I tell it to, going back to bad habits I keep begging it to let go of. Maybe that's even a more effective way of thinking of it. Maybe the techniques for getting a dog to stop peeing on carpet work better for changing a mind than sheer force of will.

If we don't walk my sister's dog a couple of times a day, we run a risk of finding a spot on the floor. There is no point in yelling at the dog. It's not her fault. It's her nature. If we don't let her let her urges out in a good way, she'll let them out in a bad. So I guess if I am lucky enough to find myself bored again, I should take my mind out for a bit of exercise.

gryphonquill @ 2009-08-09T21:17:00

2009-08-10T03:52:00Z

While driving back from Chris's bandmate's 30th birthday gig in Chapel Hill Saturday night, I was talking with Brian about what makes a person fall in love. You find someone visually appealing, try talking and discover you can hold a conversation, have similar interests. But really, that's only friendship plus sexual compatability. Is that all there is to the feeling of being in love.

So I was saying that it takes something extra, that you have to be compelled by the idea of a person. They come to mean something more, to represent something. I'm not saying you put them up on a pedestal, giving them idealized qualities, just that the actual qualities they have hold special importance for you. Sometimes it can be a role that person fills -- like a someone to protect you, to listen to you, to comfort you. Brian said that sort of thing tends to key off with some core idea you have about yourself. What you see about their nature might mirror something important about yours.

However, he said that what a lot of this role fulfillment can be self-serving. What he sees as better is when you appreciate someone's qualities not for how they benefit you, but for their own sake. For instance, admiring a person's patience not because you need someone to give you patience, just because you find it beautiful to behold. I definitely agree with him on that. Part of loving someone is being awed by who he or she is outside of your relationship.

gryphonquill @ 2009-08-07T04:27:00

2009-08-07T08:46:56Z

Sunday, on the way to Jenn's Vampire game, I stopped at Trader Joe's to pick up some snacks for the group. Right inside the door, I ran into Jenny and Brian doing the same and compared notes. "Get some brie," Jenny said, so I made my way back to the cheese section.

One of the brie wedges looked enticingly soft. Already its creamy interior was starting to ooze out, giving it pillowy bulges where the others had straight-cut edges. I checked the price and saw its expiration date right beside -- Aug 5, only 3 days away. It was the oldest of the brie I saw there, ripe and ready. It's sensuous bulges were just begging to be eaten.

If I'm making this brie sound slutty, that's only because it was. It was a slutty cheese. I needed to have it.

At the register, the cashier also noticed the expiration date as she rang up my brie. "Looks like this one here is just about to expire. You want to get another?" I thanked her for her thoughtfulness but assured her that I wanted exactly that piece of cheese. I wanted it because it was about to expire.

When I unwrapped the cheese at Jenn's house, a few people commented on an odd smell. Jenny tried it but said it was too pungent for her. I had the slutty cheese all to myself, ate half then and brought the rest back home. I didn't refrigerate it right away. In fact I think it sat in my room overnight in a Ziploc bag.

Wednesday night I remembered I still had that cheese. Erin had prepared a large salad with canellini beans. I topped mine with the cheese. It was its expiring day, and the "odd smell" of Sunday had transformed into a rich bouquet of funk. Mom squealed. I lit a match and shot Febreeze around the kitchen.

Although it made me a sort of temporary dairy pariah, I loved my stinky brie salad. My mouth thanked me for it. Meanwhile, I feel like I accidentally turned Welch's grape juice into Cabernet-Sauvignon. Yes, the smell is strong, but sometimes things that smell bad taste great.

32nd Birthday Pics

2009-08-04T17:04:33Z

Today is my actual birthday, but Tuesdays aren't great nights for festivities, so last Saturday I celebrated with friends.

I started the evening with a smaller group at The Pit, a high-end NC barbecue restaurant. It isn't like they do any silly gourmet tricks like arranging pulled pork and slaw in a cube and calling it a "deconstructed sandwich." They just offered damn good food, traditional recipes cooked in a way to make you cry.

They did have some interesting art though. I get having playful pig people -- pig is what's on the menu -- but we could not figure out why they had three arms...

They offer an enticing array of Southern themed beverages. It being my birthday, I wanted to sample several. Scupperdine Sangria started the evening. The John Daly followed. I think my favorite was the Carolina Julep though. Sadly, I didn't make it to the Carolina Cablecar or the Southern Belle. Just more reasons to go back.

You think it looked like I had a drinking problem?

After dinner, we went to Mitch's Tavern to meet up with a larger group. Sadly, Brian could not join us.

Mitch's reminds me of a British pub in many ways. It's got that soft lighting and wood interior -- very nice atmosphere. It also closes at midnight. So afterwards, those of us who weren't quite done with the evening went up the road to Player's Retreat.

Who know that Player's Retreat offers sticky toffee pudding? It was very impressive and really hit the spot.

I love the decor behind the bar. For the longest time I thought the most interesting oddity was the puffer fish lamp hanging from the ceiling. Then I looked above the puffer fish.

From where we were sitting, it looked to Mr. Simmons and I like some of the boob steins had holes in the nipples to drink from.

Three venues, several hours, and I-don't-know-how-many drinks, and I was feeling a deep, sleepy contentment. A very full day. A very satisfying birthday.

gryphonquill @ 2009-08-03T12:35:00

2009-08-03T23:15:54Z

Birthday pics are coming, as are more pics from Adam & Danielle's wedding. For now though, I just had my second London-themed dream in a week.

The first was on the whimsical side. I was going for a walk in Westminster, coming down those park blocks on the north side of Buckingham Palace. A Cockney tramp with greasy, long gray hair was hawking newspapers aggressively but charmingly. I think it must have been my brain translating something like "Big Issue" salesmen, a magazine made specifically for the homeless to sell so they can make money on the streets without begging.

A fierce wind tore down the sidewalk and it kept unwrapping my scarf from my neck. I tried physically turning my body as I walked in order to use the wind to re-wrap it. A white, knit lady's hat came tumbling past me. I scooped it up to return to the owner and found myself facing HRM Queen Elizabeth II. She said, "Thank you, young man. Could you help me with my mobile?"

She was trying to call her friend Natasha -- maybe a Russian ambassador? -- but couldn't find where she had saved the number. The phone was too complicated for her. It was too complicated for me in fact. Seemed like it had way more buttons than necessary. By the time I woke up, I still hadn't found the number.

Last night offered more sober fare. I was leaving again. It wasn't heartbreaking, mainly because I'm just that hardcore, but it was aggravating just having to move again, having to pack all my stuff. Yes, I dreamed about packing and preparing flights and all that. I wasn't in a panic either. I had all the resources I needed -- still a pain in the ass.

It was like I never left though, so my brain was trying to reconcile recent memories of hanging out with friends. It's answer: they had come to see me. Jenny, Brian, and Joss had actually moved to London themselves, which was the explanation for my memories of hanging out at their place.

At dinner Saturday night, Christine said, "People have been asking if you're going back." Maybe that put it on my mind.

"Dearly Befuddled..."

2009-08-01T02:28:19Z

All of us performers, artists, and entertainers, whatever our medium, are pretty much motivated by a need for attention when it comes right down to it. Couch it in whatever pleasant terms you like, but it boils down to, "Hey, guys! Look at me!" and the emotional gratification we receive. In the pursuit of said gratification, we build upon whatever talent we may possess and try to make our craft -- and therefore ourselves -- more engaging. Now and then, though, we get the opportunity to take that craft that we have developed and turn it towards someone's benefit other than our own -- benefit concerts, raising awareness, that sort of thing.

There have been sometimes where, as a performer, the greatest satisfaction I received was knowing that I was able to help someone make an event that was special to them all the moreso. When I got to be the Fairy Godfather for an 80th birthday, even though I was the one "on stage," I felt like I had received a special invitation to witness something meaningful. They were laughing at my jokes, but I felt like I was the one receiving something. My favorite part of several Christmases have been the Santa gigs I got to do.

When Danielle asked me to serve in the place of an officiant at her and Adam's wedding, I knew it was going to be another one of those awesome occasions. Now, I have no legal certification to marry anyway, but that wasn't what she wanted. They were planning to be married in the courthouse in the morning and then afterwards have a really fun ceremony for friends and family. She wanted Chris to play some rock and roll and she and the groom were going to come boogying out, and then I was going to "marry" them.

She described my role as something between Rowan Atkinson from Four Weddings and a Funeral and Peter Cook from The Princess Bride ("Mawwiage. Mawwiage is wot bwings us to-gevah to-day..."). Then they were going to give their vows, which would be taken from rock lyrics. The whole thing would have a rock concert theme. They even made "concert tour" t-shirts for everyone who came.

I was so honored to be asked -- there's that artist's ego that I mentioned. After a couple of different ideas in other directions, I finally pieced together a script for my part that I thought would fulfill the role of officiant while maintaining the zany and irreverent tone Adam and Danielle had established. It was a stretch for me. I don't have so much experience giving comic monologues. Mostly when I'm funny it's in the context of a story.

Two days before the wedding, I emailed my speech to Danielle for approval. She said she and Adam loved it. I knew that was the important thing, regardless of whatever laughs I did or didn't get.

"Dearly Befuddled, we are gathered here today in the sight of spy satellites belonging to the secret one-world government beaming their telepathic mind lasers right down here to steal my thoughts. (point at sky) I know you’re up there! I know you’re listening! (point to bald spot) See this? It’s not baldness. The hair has been burned away by mind lasers! Mind lasers!

"But that’s not why we are here. We are here to join this man (point to Danielle) and this woman (point to Adam) in the bondage of matrimony. Now, marriage is a big honkin’ deal. It’s not for everyone. You have to know what you’re doing. That is why it is vitally important to be a sentient being capable of speech and above the age of consent – not animal, mineral, or vegetable.

"You cannot have it with a fox. You cannot have it with a box. You can’t just have it here or there. You can’t just have it anywhere. So if any person should have evidence that either of these two people are not in fact people but evil robots in disguise sent to steal the secrets of the Matrix from Shia LaBeouf, speak now or may Optimus Prime have mercy upon your soul. (pause.) Seriously? Anyone? Anyone? Beuller? Bueller...

"Good. But what is love? What is marriage? For the answer to these, we turn to words that have echoed across our culture, words that we have used to define the experience of love.

(Pull out Twilight. Read in girly voice with increasing passion.) “Shall I explain how you are tempting to me?” he said. It was clearly a rhetorical question. His fingers traced slowly down my spin, his breath coming more quickly against my skin. My hands were limp on his chest, and I felt light-headed again. He tilted his head slowly and touched his cool lips to mine for the second time, very carefully, parting them slightly. (Like a bimbo.) And then I collapsed. (Look confused. Shake head.)

"No, love is nothing like that. Let us turn instead to a work of unquestioned literary genius and listen to what James Joyce can tell us about marriage.

(Read Portrait of the Artist... Ch. 3. with an Irish accent full of hellfire.)
Boundless extension of torment, incredible intensity of suffering, unceasing variety of torture - this is what the divine majesty, so outraged by sinners, demands; this is what the holiness of heaven, slighted and set aside for the lustful and low pleasures of the corrupt flesh, requires!

(Shut book hard as if afraid of it. Shudder.) "No, let’s hope not. Maybe we’d be better off with an American author.

(Read Huckleberry Finn Ch. 11 in Southern hick dialect.) I landed, and slopped through the timber and up the ridge and into the cavern. There Jim laid, sound asleep on the ground. I roused him out and says: "Git up and hump yourself, Jim!”

(Look at book quizzically. Then at audience. Try to make sense of it.) "Yes, um... because in many ways... marriage is like taking a journey together, riding a rickety wooden raft down the waters of the mighty Mississipi. And some times you may be the strong and humble escaped slave and sometimes you may be the little redneck boy of uncertain lineage. The point... the point... is that you are on the raft together.

"But never mind what anyone else says. Adam and Danielle have chosen their own words to express what this union means.

(Reading of vows)

"What therefore Rock hath joined together, let no Yoko, no ego, and no record deal put asunder. And so, by the power vested in me by the fact that Adam and Danielle invited me to stand up here and talk funny, and by the fact that it makes me happy to pronounce pronouncements, I now pronounce what everyone here already recognizes, that you are man and wife. Now kiss like you ain’t never kissed before."

Episode 151: Deep-Rooted Man-Stupid

2009-07-24T21:33:11Z

Episode 151: Deep-Rooted Man-Stupid
To download, click HERE.

In this episode:

Sweet gay robot love.
Chris practices the magic of Mind Screw!
Can laws protect high school kids from bullies?
Flashback to our 2005 interview with Amy Glaser.
"Oh, Girl!"
Cat and Cthulhu: Wake The Dead (Part One).
For more Cat & Cthulhu, click HERE!
Andy reads the first chapter of his novel.

Featuring music from:

"Perjury" by Hi Ho Silver Oh
"Don't Change" by Tripp
"Witching Hour" by Red Collar
"Til My Voice is Gone" by The Old Ceremony
"Sunshine" by The Pneurotics
"Wheelbarrow Blues" by Emil McGloin
"When I Get Over You" by Chris Wimberley
"The Traveler" by Sarah Goss
Featuring "Power and Energy" by Dan Datiles.

This month's Lyrics Junkie Charity Challenge:

I don't know where I am, but I know I don't like it. Open my mouth, and out pops something spiteful. Words are so cheap, but they can turn out expensive...

Send in the title and artist, and we'll donate $25 to the charity of your choice!

Submit your music, literature, and opinions to radio@nightsound.com.

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Writing Plan

2009-07-05T21:45:06Z

For the past 6 months I have had too much time on my hands and no sense of direction. I didn't know what job I might get, how I would get to said job, or how long I would stay in NC. The fact that I won't be able to go back simplifies things, which is good because the uncertainty has been distracting me from working on the novel.

My circumstances may be a blessing in disguise. On top of feeding and sheltering me, both my parents are very supportive of me finishing the novel I started last year and taking a serious step towards becoming a published novelist. So, since I have not been able to find another job, I need to treat that like my job -- in the hopes that it some day will be.

I have set myself a goal of writing 5 pages a day, 5 days a week, which is ambitious but should be doable since I have few other demands on my time. Right now I am re-writing what I have written so far from the beginning, editing in new material and including adjustments to plot, character, and pacing. So although I have written 119 pages (36,376) words, I only count the first 12 pages (3904) words as complete. Those are pages that I feel are ready to be seen by the agents expressed interest in my novel after the Oct 1 reading last year.

Between now and Oct 1 of this year, there are 12 weeks. At the pace I am setting, that should give me time to produce 300 pages. I don't know that the novel will end up quite that long, but I believe that I will have a completed manuscript by that time. After over a year of planning and making notes and receiving peer commentary on excerpts, I know the direction I want to take it in and I am confident in my choices. Now all I have to do is do it, and I think it is a fitting goal to begin contacting agents about my novel on the 1-year anniversary of receiving such encouraging responses.

Settling In

2009-07-03T18:23:34Z

Recently, I've been looking at my situation and accepting that, since I have not been able to secure steady employment in the past 6 months, I will not be able to save up the money that I would need in time to meet the visa requirements to return to the UK. It looks like I am staying here.

I am also expecting to be with my parents for some time. Whenever I do get a significant income, I will have to save up at least as much money as going back to the UK would have cost me, possibly more, in order to buy a car and move into a place of my own. So last week I turned my room into a space I could call my own, rather than just somewhere I sleep, a space that I can do some writing in.

10 things I accomplished in 6 months home

2009-06-23T23:50:42Z

Become a competent cook, with particular accomplishments in Chinese stir-fry, berry cobbler, Italian pasta, barbecue chicken, vegetable stews, rice dishes, and low-fat fish n' chips.
Tutored my 14yo cousin, helping him to graduate from middle school.
Helped my sister move out of her apartment and back home.
Deepened my knowledge of Tibetan Buddhism as an actual religious culture, not just a set of concepts.
Re-joined Chris and Jenn to produce new episodes of The Nightsound Show staggeringly numerous downloads.
Assisted my parents with 4 classes at DeVry, learning a bit about law and the DeVry on-line system in the process, as well as seeing students achieve notable growth.
Produced 25 pages of my novel that I am very proud of, including a near totally re-written first chapter.
Performed as costumed characters at 4 different events.
Attended the wedding of an old friend.
Watched all the episodes of Battlestar Galactica available on dvd.

gryphonquill @ 2009-06-22T22:18:00

2009-06-23T02:19:17Z

Episode 150: Mom's Milk of Amnesia
To download, click HERE.

In this episode:

The first show from our new time slot -- will it change a f**king thing?
Community Badass Chris Frank helps us with the FCC.
Chris Wimberley presents "Cat Hospital"
Go behind the scenes of Nightsound Show comedy.
Where is Lost Harold?
Viewer mail from Jennifer, Josh, Danielle, Quinton and Richard!
"Eat the Children."

Featuring music from:

"Space" by Rachel Keil
"What I Thought" by Dylan Sneed
"Out of Here" by Lauren Mulderrig
"Globe Stomp" by Crash
"I Predicted the Future Once" by Hi Ho Silver Oh
"Robots vs. Dinosaurs" by Sam Ortallano
"Reptiliana" by Jessica Hiltabidle
"Mojo Hand" by Stranger Spirits
"Just Like Bruce Campbell Did" by Joe Hero
"Spencer" by Harmute
"Mumbo Jumbo" by Davis Coen
"All Dressed Up" by Joe Romeo and the Orange County Volunteers
Featuring "Power and Energy" by Dan Datiles.

This month's Lyrics Junkie Charity Challenge was won by WCOM DJ Matt Welborn! He correctly identified the following lyrics from Iron Maiden's "Two Minutes to Midnight":

The glamor, the fortune, the pain
Go to war again, blood is freedom's stain
But don't you pray for my soul anymore.

At his request, $25 has been donated to Student Action with Farmworkers (SAF)!

Join us Friday July 17th, 8pm for Live Episode 151!

Submit your music, literature, and opinions to radio@nightsound.com.

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