Celebrities You've Never Heard Of

I got a really good seat. Showing up alone to these recordings means they can use my butt to fill in any empty spaces, so I ended up sitting right down in front. So I got a good look at the production crew setting up. A few waved back into the audience, presumedly at friends and family.

After a few minutes, two blonds came down to take the seats in the aisle right across from me -- a big girl and a smaller one, both pretty. They caught my attention as they came down the steps because their boots made a bit of noise. I noticed they appeared to be dressed well, flirty like they would be going to a club afterwards.

Something about the smaller girl caught my attention. I don't know if it was that her profile was familiar or that I noticed her waving and whispering hellos to the crew down below, calling one by name. She looked familiar, and I started to think that she might be Sheridan Smith, an actress that I've only discovered since I came over here. She's got a supporting role in Love Soup and a larger role in a series called Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps, in which she plays a very flirty twenty-something. In fact, I had developed a little celebrity crush on her -- maybe my first on an actress actually younger than me, another reminder that I'm gettin' old...

But I wasn't sure it was her, so I kept sneaking glances over her direction throughout the performance. It wasn't easy. She sat on the other side of the big girl, who dwarfed her. Also, I'd only seen her on screen with her hair long, but when I saw her last night she had it short, like it is here.


Eventually, I grew certain that it was her, especially as I saw James smiling and miming jokes at her in between takes. I figured they knew each other in the way that people in the same business do.

Now, people say celebrities seem smaller in person, and I'll admit Sheridan was much shorter than she seemed on television, but the screen offers little sense of scale, so that's bound to happen. Another thing people say about celebrities is that they look nothing like they do on screen, usually implying that they look strangely "human" without their make-up. I didn't find that at all. Sheridan looked exactly like herself and so did James and so did Julia Deakin who played James's mother and also appeared as the tavern keeper's wife in Hott Fuzz and the landlady in Spaced (Dude, she is one dorable MILF...). I said this about Josie Lawrence, but because these celebrities looked exactly like they did on television, part of my brain had to ask itself, "Is this real? Am I on teleivision too?"

The taping was fun to watch. Like Lab Rats, I don't know that this will become a future comedy classic, but I had a good time. James Corden's performance was spot on. You could tell from his delivery that he's got lots of stage experience. He never seemed to lose his energy and kept perfect timing.

Then at the end of the recording, when they thanked us all for coming and we applauded them off, he leapt up on to the railing of the audience's front row, and Sheridan leaned forward to give him a kiss -- which was impressive. The kiss also looked more than friendly, but I'll admit that because he's a big guy, I suspected that he had feelings for her which she didn't return. However, when I got home, I checked out Wikipedia, and found out that the two of them are actually dating. She was there supporting her boyfriend.


I just have to feel proud for a fellow big guy for landing such a little cutie as her. Of course, watching his performance, I can see the attraction. He's got a lot of charisma, a very funny guy. But still, he would be a shoo in to play the grown-up Eric Cartman (from South Park).

Of course, it isn't that she is inhumanly attractive. In fact, she reminded me of some other actresses I knew in high school and college. And just like I don't think she's necessarily prettier than them, I also don't think she's necessarily funnier or a better actress than them. How many NC actresses would also have as many television and stage roles as she has at the age of 27 if they lived somewhere that offered more opportunities for them?

Sure, a lot of it is luck and who you know and so on. But even the luckiest fisher isn't going to catch anything in an empty pond. And in a well-stocked pond, even a mediocre fisher could get a nibble.

I suppose I also have to think of what career I might have had if I kept at it, if I had been in a different program, if I applied myself more to the craft. Maybe I just didn't have the right temperament for it anyway. You have to have an iron stomach to throw yourself at audition after audition and continue in the face of rejection. Somehow, I find it easier to do that with writing.